5:07 PM
Today has been like been like most if my days have been lately. I have far too much time to ponder on things, which leads to a downfall in my mood. On days like these I try to spend time with my family or game to keep myself from thinking how far off track my life truly is. Clearly that's not working today.
I've been single for a couple months now, prior to this I was in a year long relationship with whom I thought was the love of my life. Sadly, I was wrong. Our relationship had gotten to the seriousness of living together a good portion of that year. He royally fucked me up though. We lived together for that long and never once had sex. Like Wtf? He said he had sex before, but was too nervous and wasn't ready. Everyone I know thinks he's gay, BUT he started dating a different girl only a month after we broke up. Shady much? Anyways throughout the course of our relationship there was a lot of mental abuse and making me feel as if I needed him and only him to survive. Unfortunately I didn't really get the closure I needed on our abrupt breakup, so I sometimes still find myself trying to decipher it. Today has been one of those days so far. There is a possibly of recovering from this day, providing things go well with B tonight.
-N
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