I don't really know where to begin here...
Lately my thoughts have been too much for me and my friends have gone AWOL as far as face to face conversations go. Texting is nice and all, but when a friend or I are in need of venting or advice texting just never cuts it for me. I feel that I should probably explain my two best friends a little.
R is pretty much a younger version of me, she's funny, blunt, and chill. Although she has a boyfriend who pretty much dictates 90% of her life, she still manages to be a pretty good friend. None the less she isn't always there when I need her, especially not when I need a face to face conversation. Her boyfriend is usually the reasoning behind that. We somehow still manage to maintain a decent friend ship through texting and fugly snapchats, but as far as a support system, I guess I can't really count her as too big of a part of that. Does that make me sound shitty? Eh... oh well. I can talk to her about the types of thing that my other friends would find repulsive, because she's very open like myself. I love the fact that we have that in common, but seeing her once every several weeks just doesn't work for me. Every time I try to say something about it she blows the entire thing way out of proportion, yet another reason why being friends with females is hard.
K used to be just like me, but she got in an accident a couple years ago and everything changed. She decided that only religion was going to solve that and it wasn't the religion her mom raised her in. Her religion is frowned upon by most around here, mainly because most of the people around her who are in her religion give off that holier-than-thou vibe. Ain't feelin' that. Anyways, ever since she became part of the this religion she is less of herself around "her people", but when she's around me she's the old K I used to know and love. The problem is that lately she will kick me to the side for "her people". It bugs the shit out of me because we've known each other for over 6 years now and she's only been part of this religion for maybe 2 years, yet they have became more important. Which leads me to believe more and more daily that her religion is a cult. Haha. The other day she pretty much told me that we couldn't hang out for a couple weeks because she was going to be busy with "her people". How shitty is that? You can't spare a day to hang out with your best friend of 6 years? That's pretty fuckin wonderful if you ask me. Who knows when I'll see K next. Who fucking knows.
Then there's B, he's more significant other than friend, but still a big part of my life right now. He is one confusing mofo let me tell you. So many things that I do upset him, as if everything in life is supposed to go his way, which drives me nuts sometimes. I don't want to feel like he's changing me, but at the same time, when you're consistently telling someone the things they are doing wrong, aren't you hinting at change? Yet we're like two peas in a pod, which causes us to butt heads quite often actually, but it can also be great. We're both pretty blunt, he's pretty chill, and attractive as well. We've been hanging out for several months now, yet we're still in this in-between being friends and dating thing that we've been stuck in for over a month. I don't feel the need to wait to make it official when we hang out practically every night, but it seems to be his opinion over mine in most cases. BULLSHIT. He does have a sweet side though, I just wish I saw it more than his asshole side. Only time will tell I suppose.
I like to keep a close-knit group. Quality over quantity, but how great is the quality of my friends? I'm just being pessimistic right now. What a bucket of joy.
I guess this blog is going to become my way of venting when I have no one to vent to, which is pretty often. Fun fun. I think im just going to write my thoughts daily.
-N
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